an itching inside of me.

God is so cool. He's laid a few things on my heart this past weekend. Here's the jist of it all:
Agape got back from our mini tour last night. 6 concerts from friday night to sunday night. they were all great, don't get me wrong, but one concert stands out in my mind by a mile. after a long two days we pulled up to Teen Challenge. the name suggests a place for teens, but actually it's for women ages 18 +. Something to do with the government in california and the fact that God is a big part of teen challenge; if minors were involved God would have to be taken out of the equation, so 50 women who were 18 or older lived atop a beautiful hill surrounded my green mountains, birds, trees, and every other awesome thing God has created in nature.

While the sound crew set up the sound equipment and risers, the rest of us got to walk through the rows of women, starting conversations. A few other girls and I started talking to 5 ladies and we quickly figured out how great the concert was going to be. They were all funny, nice and chatty! (characteristics we don't often come across on agape tours.)
it was time to start the concert and we were already pumped up. They clapped and cheered whenever anyone had a solo or a intro, sang along with our songs, and worshiped God openly.
After a full set and lots of smiling, one girl who was probably about 20 years old got up and announced that all 50 women wanted to sing a few songs for us! we sat down in their seats on the lawn and they got up on our risers, sopranos and altos. it was so much fun! they sang three songs, and they weren't focused on whether or not they were standing in the correct way, singing the exact part, making the phrases energized or dropping their jaws, they were singing to God.
After their songs we all got into a HUGE circle and held hands. It was probably my favorite prayer i've ever been apart of. Two women from Teen Challenge prayed, but something about it was so different. not only were they praying completely selflessly, but they were just so humbled and... I don't know! something about it was so different!
We then helped them take all the chairs back inside, it was dark out by then and getting chilly!
they encouraged us singers to find a girl or two and just talk with them. They were all so willing to share their testimonies.
a few other girls and I were standing in a circle with Jillian (23) and Ashley (19). We weren't asking them questions about their walks with the Lord or trying to encourage them with Gods love, it was completely opposite of what we were used to doing. They were asking us about our stories and families and hardships, and as soon as the first of started crying Jillian asked if she could pray for us. They prayed for us! Gosh, they're so awesome.
There's so much more i could say about that experience, but I would be writing for days.

We have the mindset of going into a situation with Agape to encourage people, but these women completely flipped the scripts and were acting like older sisters! Praying for us and caring for us like they'd known us forever!
They were ON FIRE for God. It was kind of like being up at Hume lake, everyone loved the Lord, and no one was afraid to say it.
A "pocket" of Jesus lovin' if you will.


I want my church to be like that. I want that SO badly. Pretend everyone in the world was a Christian, loving God with all their hearts. Would that change the way you talked to everyone?
See, these women wouldn't change the way they spoke to me if I wasn't a Believer. "Praise Jesus", "I will have 50 women praying for that", "God is so great" are just a few of the phrases that those women say in their everyday conversations! It doesn't matter if you know the Lord or not, because they do, and they are excited about it.

Chad talked about submitting to authority on saturday night.
Read Matthew 8:5-13.
Jesus" was astonished" with this man. How often does Jesus, the Son of God get astonished by a man? not often, i'm sure. That centurion knew what's up. He had 100 men under him, but he didn't let that get to his head. He really got it. Jesus was clearly above him on the authority chain and that man understood that.
Chad dug a little deeper with the whole subject, but i won't preach his whole sermon over again. :) It was just an awesome thought, and a good reminder to respect my elders.

Then the next morning Jon preached at the church we were staying at, about how WE are the church, not the pretty building with the white, shining steeple. Another cool thought.

I want my church--us-- to be madly in love with Jesus, to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit", and to be focused on God.
Enough with the drama of who's sitting with who, what so-and-so is wearing, where you're going to stay on your missions trip, when the sunday school teacher will let your kids out of class, and why he chose that verse to speak on. Who what where when why.
I'm an awful example myself. Lets ALL change. This world terrifies me, and I feel like/know that i'm running out of time to change things!

I don't want us to be lukewarm for Christ. Revelation 3:15-17.
Choose a side! HOT or COLD. Either be all-out for Christ, or don't be at all. Sounds harsh, I know, and I want everyone to be hot, on FIRE for God.


I'm clueless as to how i'm going to change things in this world.
I'm not going to stress it, it'll happen in Gods time, I just have something itching inside of me to get out and get everyone in the right place with God.
Future missionary much? Sounds like it as of now, but i'm for sure not going to get ahead of God and start planning out my whole life. Just going with the flow. :)

come out come out where ever you are!

I have so many ideas in my head. Mostly art concepts, things i want to draw or paint, I just can't express them in the way i want too. mah.
I wish my hand could draw what my mind can see.

Tiempo

Wake up. Eat Breakfast. Start a load of laundry. Load the dishwasher. Take out the trash. Water the plants in the backyard. Shower. Vacuum. Start another load of laundry. Unload the dishwasher. Clean the counters. Fold a load of Laundry. Walk around out side. Take pictures. Edit pictures. Fold another load. Have a snack. Learn lots of piano. Send an email. Memorize lines. Talk to a neighbor.

How did my day feel so uneventful...but it was full of events?
No, i'm not a slave at my house, don't worry, but my mom and older sister are in chicago, liz was at the ranch working all day, my dad was at work and nate was out with his friends after he woke up at noon. What else was i supposed to do? sit around and watch TV all day? mmm, no thanks.
I went from feeling busy and stressed to bored and lonely in a matter of minutes. I've realized that when i'm alone i work well; i get things done. for instance: yesterday, being a lot like today, i went through every shirt i own, purged several and completely reorganized. Then i went through my closet, found a bunch of things that were too small for my sister (since they've been in the closet for quite some time), and was able to give out next-door-neighbor all kinds of new things ;). as satisfied as i felt after doing all that, i still wanted more. I'm, for the most part, a people-person, so a day of just me is tough. It makes talking to God much easier, but i think i'm too used to being in a family of 6 to fully enjoy the silence.

I guess i realized that unless i have too many things to accomplish in one day, and only one day to do them, then i'd thrive. i like having deadlines and being rushed. well, part of me does, anyway.
That's one of the major reasons why i love summer so much! Wake up, soccer game, church, another game, lunch, agape, dinner, shower, sleep. That's pretty much my dream day. oh gosh, thinking about being busy makes me jealous of... last summer? haha.
So maybe junior year will be amazing. i've heard it's the busiest, with classes and college planning and SAT's and all that great stuff.
Wow am i the most scatter-brained person ever, or what??! sorry :-\

Dear God...

I watched The Passion last night.
I can not believe what Jesus went through for me and you. Seriously, it's ridiculous all that He went through. Thanks Lord :)

Happy Resurrection Day!!

Good Friday

Good Friday. Today is the anniversary of Jesus' dying on the cross for us. Thanks God :)
My mom and i spent a big majority of our day baking. and baking. and baking. One hundred sugar cookies, all shaped like a cross. It's a bummer, no stores sell cookie-cutters shaped like a cross :(. Soooo, we improvised. free-styled, if you will. i would make the dough, she would roll it, cut it and place it on the cookie cutters, i would take them out of the oven, transfer them onto individual plates, and put some sprinkles on the side of the plate.
You might be wondering what inspired us to make 100 cookies?
Mrs. Brookman at church asked my mom too, for all the kids in sunday school. A huge task, but we did it!


^^ that was when we were at fifty-two cookies!

Monday: Mosquito Monsters and Denise.

Wowie. what a weekend of fun. The only sad part was not being able to go to Cornerstone on sunday night. (thanks rebekah.)
Monday started as a fairly uneventful, school-filled day, but then my best friend/neighbor, Lauren texted me and asked if i could go over to her house! YES! i love her! we perfected home-made popcorn with the perfect amount of butter in salt, sat on the couch, and watched the Tyra show. hahaha. oh! i can't forget the amazing iced tea we made! (and sipped out of our Jonas cups) :).
after the Tyra Banks show and two big cups of iced tea, i had to go to the bathroom. so i go in there, close the door, look to my right, and see the HUGEST mosquito bug i have ever seen. it was a beast. and it terrified me. i screamed for lauren because i was cornered in the bathroom, and so she came in and we started screaming together!! after a minute i was able to sprint past it and land out in the hallway, leaving her with the monster....alone.
the monster started to fly a bit, so lauren got out of there quick. we ran to the garage where my brother, nate and lauren's brother, ricky were. they didn't even look up or care to ask what we were so afraid of...so i threw an almond at them and got to big cups full of water! you see, my plan was to have lauren chuck all the water and the thing, causing it to fall a little bit lower in the shower, so that she could then turn the shower on and he would be sprayed to the ground.
the title wave part worked, but we got to scared to turn the shower on...so it stayed kind of curled up (but even when it was bent it was like the size of Maine..) we think its dead... so i was able to go to the bathroom and we moved on with our day!
we both had our dinners, i watched the ACM's with her family, then went over to my house! rebekah was in the kitchen...so we decided to try to pants her...over...and over...and over again. we never succeeded... but it has hysterical.
We then moved the party into rebekah's room, where we locked her out...got into her bed...and pretended to be asleep! once she unlocked the door we took some pictures, made some amazing 80's music videos to a song i wrote called "Denise" and we called it a night! (oh, and we had a fashion show, can't forget that!)

What a great great great monday!!

Crazy!

--This is from Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love.
One page of it. One page says this much, I can't wait to finish it! Read if you'd like. i love.
Did you just that a caterpillar has 228 separate and distinct muscles in its head? That's quite a few, for a bug. The average elm tree has approximately 6 million leaves on it. And your own heart generates enough pressure as it pumps blood throughout your body that it could squirt blood up to 20 feet. (I've never tried this, and I don't recommend it.)
Have you ever thought about how diverse and creative God is? He didn't have to make hundreds of different kinds of bananas, but He did. He didn't have to put 3,000 different species of trees within one square mile in the Amazon jungle, but He did. God didn't have to create so many kinds of laughter. Think about the different sounds of your friend's laughs--wheezes, snorts, silent, loud, obnoxious.
How about the way plants defy gravity by drawing water upward from the ground into their stems and veins? Or did you know that spiders produce three kinds of silk? When they build their webs, they create sixty feet of silk in one hour, simultaneously producing special oil on their feet that prevents them from sticking to their own web. (Most of us hate spiders, but sixty feet an hour deserves some respect!) Coral plants are so sensitive that they can die if the water temperature varies by even one or two degrees.
Did you know that when you get goose bumps, the hair in your follicles is actually helping you stay warmer by trapping body heat? Or what about the simple fact that plants take in carbon dioxide (which is harmful to us) and produce oxygen (which we need to survive)? I'm sure you knew that, but have you ever marveled at it? And these same poison-swallowing, life-giving plants came from tiny seeds that were placed in the dirt. Some were watered, some weren't; but after a few days they poked through the soil and out into the warm sunlight.
Whatever God's reasons for such diversity, creativity, and sophistication in the universe, on earth, and in our bodies, the point of it all is His glory. God's art speaks of Himself, reflecting who He is and what He is like.